For a while, I lived in the dark.
He came, and I only knew how to threw punches to the air.
He came and wrapped me with his love,
His smile was enough to light up my way.
He extended his own light to open up a path for me.
Just as it started to become so bright,
I look behind me to convey my gratitude,
To seep him sit there, drained, bruised, with half a smile.
His smile was enough to light up my way, but I realise
Why he couldn’t use that anymore; why he had to use another source of light.
In the dark, I couldn’t see where I was punching.
In the dark, I thought it was only air.
And he was the air that I was breathing- Oh.
Leave my desires alone.
Let them run wild, without being touched
Without being thought of
Without calling out to them.
Don’t name them.
Don’t give then any identity
Just let them go and play around in my mind
With no red strings attached
Just keep me unaware of what they are,
Maybe I won’t long for you
For a change.
They ask why is it difficult to love you,
I tell them that I do.
They ask me why can’t I make it work,
I tell them because I can never compromise with you.
They ask why continue to be selfish, and why can’t I step down for a change,
I tell them, because that is who I am with you.
They ask why do I bother looking your way, if I won’t make it work,
I tell them, because I selfishly love you my own way, even if in an unconventional way,
Even if it costs you to hate me.
The more I talk about him with an unregrettable way,
The more I heal from the inside,
The better I breathe oxygen, rather than breathing sadness.
The memories, feel like highlighted parts of my dusted books.
All that is left, is for me to reach the last page,
And it’s been five years, and I still can’t make myself read the end of this story.
It’s hard to let go,
When i can still feel the pressure of your touch
Even in my dreams.
I want my wedding gown to be made of the sky and a million of stars.
I want my smile to be the brightest sunlight to my outfit.
I want my light to be reflected on his eyes and form two moons instead of one.
I want to embrace him and tell him, “that even in our darkest of days i will be there to make sure we make it through together”.
Ah, the curse of a breakup’s anniversary.
The time a human will reminisce
And revisit memories that were locked up in pandora’s box, commonly known as the subconscious.
Just when snapchat’s memories feature was about to lose its sting.
A moment that can be described as a hit from the ocean’s wave,
Filled with emotions that belonged to the past.
And the state of being currently wet from the salty water,
That refreshing feeling reminds you how the good times were… fulfilling, overwriting all the bad shit that went down,
But that saltiness fuels that regret of causing so much damage to him as you tried to heal yourself within your mind’s chaos.
Then the sun kindly dries you up, and its warmth hugs you all over,
Sending rays of reassurance and hope, that it’s okay to be alright, and that he’s better now.