She understands the feelings of her students, because she does not expect greatness from them. She can never understand the feelings of her own daughters, because she will always want perfection.
If you demand to be heard,
Then perhaps you should listen first.
And dear lover,
No one is allowed to dream of You,
Your beautiful face,
Or even sense your presence
In any goddamn way.
We honor moments by remembering them,
Honors them for the both of us.
Now he’s found a way for me to honor them too.
Life is short
The future is uncertain.
You know exactly what you want now.
We want things to happen the way we want them, but we cant.
And I’m scared.
I’m scared things wont happen.
Because an approval wasnt granted from both parties.
Because the government stalls or finds a hole to bury our dream in.
Because we’re not good enough according to our mamas.
Because of fucking high standards that we dont even give a shit about.
Because my life is shorter than we’d expected.
Because someone loses patience.. and -I’d rather not even finish this sentence.
Because what “we were meant to be” actually referred to was anything but that step.
But.. I don’t have a better solution than to wait.
And I cannot go through another battle that is harsher than the situation we’re already in.
I can barely battle distance right now.
I dont have the mental strength to battle family, us, hope, and the chance for that dream to shatter so slowly in front of me.
And I am terrified.
I am worried.
All I want is for everything to go as we want them,
Before it’s too much for you that it all becomes not worth the trouble.
And I just want to remind you,
My sweet Demon;
I have always loved you.
And I will always love you
in this life,
and in all the known
and unknown dimensions.
I definitely did not want you to stop.
I wanted you to whisper in my ear everything that you would have done if only we were a breath away.
And I definitely did not want to make it obvious for those sitting around me, as you drew dirty images in my mind,
But it was either that or the following Moan would have exposed both of us.
She would look into the direction of his neighborhood, as she drove past it, feeling
Sad. Or at least that “ah, yeah that one from that time”… and rather than feeling indifferent, being sad for a bit was the better option. I think.
I don’t know. It was some kind of internal theatrical conflict to give the years she was with him a bit of value, out of respect for Love.