Come sit with me
Share my space
Listen to my thoughts
As they escape my eyes
Or can you not read them?
It’s okay,
There are different ways
You can hear me
Without words being said.
Listen to me breathe
In.. Out.. And in again
Listen to the pace.. Rushed
Listen to the blinks of my eyes
Eyelids fluttering..
Now listen to the calmness
As I close my eyes shut
And relax..
Did you hear that?
My heart is slowing down now
Royal beats.
What’s this?
Your hand on my chest?
You can share my space
But not my body.
Stop it
Stop thumping on my chest
I can’t hear myself anymore
Listen to me!
Listen to.. My heartbeats?
There was none..
Wasn’t there..?
It wasn’t calmness you heard
It was.. It was the end
You did listen.
You finally listened
Till there was nothing to be heard.

-why can’t I fucking cry?-

souvenirs d'une vie vécue

Why is it that 12 months ago,
I was begging for the tears to stop,
And that I would be put to peace,
In a state of numbness.
And now,
12 months later.
I want nothing more than to escape this endless pit,
Of nothingness.
Where tears seise to exist,
And all I want is,
To feel cold pools of salty water,
Trickling down my cracked face,
From all the pain that has crawled it way inside,
My hollow shell?
Why can’t I cry when I need it most?
Why can’t I escape this hell of nothing?
I don’t want in anymore,
I need an exit,
Get me out.

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