Shadows of your sins do not appear in the dark.

For a while, I lived in the dark.

He came, and I only knew how to threw punches to the air.

He came and wrapped me with his love,

His smile was enough to light up my way.

He extended his own light to open up a path for me.

Just as it started to become so bright,

I look behind me to convey my gratitude,

To seep him sit there, drained, bruised, with half a smile.

His smile was enough to light up my way, but I realise

Why he couldn’t use that anymore; why he had to use another source of light.

In the dark, I couldn’t see where I was punching.

In the dark, I thought it was only air.

And he was the air that I was breathing- Oh.

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Always give them the benefit of the doubt…

I look into our past conversations,

And I feel like suffocating.

I wish I knew before, that the worst enemy

You can ever encounter

Is yourself. Your mind. Your eyes.

You play tricks on yourself.

And others get blamed for your blindness or your own manipulation to yourself.

And everyone suffers.

You tell yourself a story to justify your rage,

Your hurt, your feelings of betrayal,

When barely anything of that story is true.

The facts has been twisted for your own liking.

I look into our past conversations,

And I find my side of the story of how things went between us invalid and unclear.

Stop whispering

Ah Demon,

Leave my desires alone.

Let them run wild, without being touched

Without being thought of

Without calling out to them.

Don’t name them.

Don’t give then any identity

Just let them go and play around in my mind

With no red strings attached

To you.

Just keep me unaware of what they are,

Maybe I won’t long for you

For a change.

To the voice that loved him madly.

It gets better

After you pass the first big dates without him.

The feelings rush through your nerves,

Viewing flashbacks of all the happy moments

And even the mental breakdowns you had.

Reminding you why it worked for a while,

And why you both had to leave.

So,

It’s okay.

You’ve passed the heavenly end of summer,

You’ve passed the day you approached him again,

You’ll pass the anniversary,

You’ll pass his birthday,

You’ll pass that intense Christmas.

You’ll pass the re-writes of all New years.

You’ll pass it all without him, and it’s okay.

To the 4th of November.

One stage of getting over someone you loved is when you start convincing yourself how it wasn’t love and that it was just an illusion.

That stage of denial and the shoving away of memories into boxes and hiding them under a pile of mess.

Whether it’s a right or wrong method, it helps sometimes, and it’s helping at the moment.

May or may not be a glitch.

That’s why.

That’s why it’s difficult to pull away from your strings.

It isn’t simple love or too much of it

Or that I got used to the idea of you.

Something within me acknowledges the weight of your actions,

When I lacked expectations and hope,

And your efforts inspired me to believe in something greater than my circumstances..