It gets better
After you pass the first big dates without him.
The feelings rush through your nerves,
Viewing flashbacks of all the happy moments
And even the mental breakdowns you had.
Reminding you why it worked for a while,
And why you both had to leave.
You’ve passed the heavenly end of summer,
You’ve passed the day you approached him again,
You’ll pass the anniversary,
You’ll pass his birthday,
You’ll pass that intense Christmas.
You’ll pass the re-writes of all New years.
You’ll pass it all without him, and it’s okay.
One stage of getting over someone you loved is when you start convincing yourself how it wasn’t love and that it was just an illusion.
That stage of denial and the shoving away of memories into boxes and hiding them under a pile of mess.
Whether it’s a right or wrong method, it helps sometimes, and it’s helping at the moment.
And dear lover,
No one is allowed to dream of You,
Your beautiful face,
Or even sense your presence
In any goddamn way.
And the only remedy I need
For my tachypnoea,
Is the heavy sounds of your breaths while you sleep.
Like a spoilt brat,
Unsatisfied with the playroom full of toys,
Ungrateful for the happiness they swim in.
Like a spoilt brat,
I want more.
I want your face within my hands.
I want your arms around my fragile shell.
I want your heart within my chest.
I want my scent taming every cell on your body.
I want my touch to stain every thing you possess.
I want your lips to only be familiar with mine.
I want your eyes to be the only ones that trace every edge of my body.
I want you to share the oxygen that only I can breathe.
I want you to re-write the stories that have cursed my skin.
I want you to blind me with that crooked smile of yours.
I want to study the lines that form around your eyes and lips when you smile.
I want to wake up to your shell wearing this sweater of yours, for a change.
I want to directly hear the raw frequency of your voice.
I want you Demon.
I want your flames to burn me alive.
I want to melt, disappear, rebirth and become one with you.
I live in the ruins.
I will always..
live in the ruins.