As I was shoving info in my tired brain,
I thought I should really take a break soon.
I wanted someone to take me to a short ride,
Wake me up with caffeine,
Let me scream two or three songs,
And drive me back home to my reality.
I wanted a certain someone to take me out,
But that someone is far away.
Did I request a refund?
Did you send the package at your own discretion?
Did I come by knocking on your doors, asking you to give it back?
I cannot recall how it happened
But when I stripped down to my bones,
I found a muscle beneath my ribs,
In its rightful place.
When you kiss me,
The sensation hits a chord of confusion.
Shyness takes a hold of me,
Stopping me from looking at your eyes directly,
Afraid of confronting the lack of
Or the existence of intense feelings towards you,
Which forces me to find shelter in the uncertainty
That I’ve wrapped myself with in the past years.
I can’t afford to take the hint
And hold your hand,
Even though I want to
Because its value to you
May be different to what it is to me.
Take me for a night drive.
We’ll take turns with the playlist.
We’ll listen in silence.
I’ll light us up a cigarette.
And we can drown in our own pollution
Of thoughts and smoke.
When you’re not ready to be aware of it,
But the truth,
When you need to acknowledge it,
There’s a place in hell,
For people like you and me.
My uncertainty for another
Is yours towards me.
Because of it, I’m able to understand
Why you feel the way you do
Or don’t feel the way I do.