Come back already and swallow my selfishness.

It’s unfair.

And so very sly of you,

To only have you blame me for whatever fucked up shit I put you through.

Blaming me for the way you felt good because you’re used to my whatever vibe.

I blame you too, you know.

Whenever I’m a specific kind of lost,

I look for you in between the crowd of human flesh.

You were the frame that held me together when something didn’t work out.

I got used to you making me feel safe when I felt empty and unlovable or too hard to handle.

You knew what you were doing, and don’t lie to the both of us that you were clueless.

You wanted to pick up my pieces and show me that only you could do it.

And it’s true, but the whole truth is you can only do that when I’m half lost and almost healing;

It doesn’t work when I’m too broken or have fully healed.

Now, I’m almost healing,

And all I can think about when you cross my mind is

I can’t wait to tell you how shitty it has been and how close I am to being okay.

I blame you too.

So now, we’re even.

Advertisements

Strings of Nature

How delicate should I be

for me to play on the strings of a spider’s web?

Will I be able to hear the sad harmony

played on these fine lines?

Or are the small creatures of this world

the only ones to enjoy the sweet melancholy

coming out from my worn-out and stained fingertips?

Will they unite

to listen to the stories

of a heart that barely survived?