And so very sly of you,
To only have you blame me for whatever fucked up shit I put you through.
Blaming me for the way you felt good because you’re used to my whatever vibe.
I blame you too, you know.
Whenever I’m a specific kind of lost,
I look for you in between the crowd of human flesh.
You were the frame that held me together when something didn’t work out.
I got used to you making me feel safe when I felt empty and unlovable or too hard to handle.
You knew what you were doing, and don’t lie to the both of us that you were clueless.
You wanted to pick up my pieces and show me that only you could do it.
And it’s true, but the whole truth is you can only do that when I’m half lost and almost healing;
It doesn’t work when I’m too broken or have fully healed.
Now, I’m almost healing,
And all I can think about when you cross my mind is
I can’t wait to tell you how shitty it has been and how close I am to being okay.
I blame you too.
So now, we’re even.
Restless, is the mind.
Priorities, yet not set.
Debts, continue to mount.
Unsure of what yet to come.
She understands the feelings of her students, because she does not expect greatness from them. She can never understand the feelings of her own daughters, because she will always want perfection.
How delicate should I be
for me to play on the strings of a spider’s web?
Will I be able to hear the sad harmony
played on these fine lines?
Or are the small creatures of this world
the only ones to enjoy the sweet melancholy
coming out from my worn-out and stained fingertips?
Will they unite
to listen to the stories
of a heart that barely survived?
There’s something about Midnight
that I’ve recently understood;
A gravitational pull that invites you
to its darkness.
The night pushes you in
to a room full of
and heavily burdened breaths.
The more you feel like you’re at home,
the harder it is
to accept the sun.
Images of that sinful night
slide between my thoughts,
and I push it away with sudden screams,
as if those screams could erase that memory.
Can someone drill a hole
right through this skull of mine?
Maybe the thoughts that have been piling up
can leak out and find
another host to terrorise.