They ask why is it difficult to love you,
I tell them that I do.
They ask me why can’t I make it work,
I tell them because I can never compromise with you.
They ask why continue to be selfish, and why can’t I step down for a change,
I tell them, because that is who I am with you.
They ask why do I bother looking your way, if I won’t make it work,
I tell them, because I selfishly love you my own way, even if in an unconventional way,
Even if it costs you to hate me.
May I continue to be confused about you from afar?
May I want you thinking you don’t want me anymore?
May we continue pretending that everything we went through didn’t affect Us even though it did?
May you look at me with those kind eyes, that make me think for a second you might still long for me?
May I be that selfish person again around you, because I miss being spoilt by you?
May you ignore me and my selfish desires and be rid of confusion.
From my dreams.
Please don’t come back anymore.
Every time I hear your voice
And feel your presence.
I break once again.
And I barely picked up my pieces from last time.
That’s why I love you.
Even when you change, that’s a part of you.
Even when you fall back, that’s a part of you.
Even when you no longer know who you are and take time to rediscover yourself, you’re you.
So just be you
and don’t mind the rest.
Don’t mind me
The more I talk about him with an unregrettable way,
The more I heal from the inside,
The better I breathe oxygen, rather than breathing sadness.
The memories, feel like highlighted parts of my dusted books.
All that is left, is for me to reach the last page,
And it’s been five years, and I still can’t make myself read the end of this story.
I want my wedding gown to be made of the sky and a million of stars.
I want my smile to be the brightest sunlight to my outfit.
I want my light to be reflected on his eyes and form two moons instead of one.
I want to embrace him and tell him, “that even in our darkest of days i will be there to make sure we make it through together”.
Ah, the curse of a breakup’s anniversary.
The time a human will reminisce
And revisit memories that were locked up in pandora’s box, commonly known as the subconscious.
Just when snapchat’s memories feature was about to lose its sting.
A moment that can be described as a hit from the ocean’s wave,
Filled with emotions that belonged to the past.
And the state of being currently wet from the salty water,
That refreshing feeling reminds you how the good times were… fulfilling, overwriting all the bad shit that went down,
But that saltiness fuels that regret of causing so much damage to him as you tried to heal yourself within your mind’s chaos.
Then the sun kindly dries you up, and its warmth hugs you all over,
Sending rays of reassurance and hope, that it’s okay to be alright, and that he’s better now.