Even I ask why.

They ask why is it difficult to love you,

I tell them that I do.

They ask me why can’t I make it work,

I tell them because I can never compromise with you.

They ask why continue to be selfish, and why can’t I step down for a change,

I tell them, because that is who I am with you.

They ask why do I bother looking your way, if I won’t make it work,

I tell them, because I selfishly love you my own way, even if in an unconventional way,

Even if it costs you to hate me.

I pray for your happiness more than I pray for mine.

Don’t ask me how I feel about you,

Because the answer is the same.

I honestly don’t know.

I know that the way I view your personality

Has changed over the years,

Which makes it confusing for me to figure out my feelings.

I don’t think I’ll ever love myself wholeheartedly,

Because if I did, I would have accepted your love.

I never think I deserve that kind of admiration.

Maybe that’s why I can only chase behind those

Who can love me less than I do.

Don’t ask me if there’s any hope,

Because the answer is still the same.

I hope you’ll find someone better

Who can love you the way you deserve to be loved.

I feel like,

I can never allow myself to be with you

Because I think too highly of you.

And I think too little of myself.

Don’t tell me what’s on your mind.

Take me for a night drive.

We’ll take turns with the playlist.

We’ll listen in silence.

I’ll light us up a cigarette.

And we can drown in our own pollution

Of thoughts and smoke.

Prying eyes

I see your eyes

that pry into my thoughts.

I see your eyes

as they skim over the emotions

that scream in the depth of my words.

I see your eyes

narrow as they re-read a part

that you think could be about you.

I see your eyes

blink as they try to take in the

heaven or hell that I am describing,

thinking you understand me

Just because I let you

Pry into my thoughts.