Dodged a storm surge, and only faced a cold wave.

Ah, the curse of a breakup’s anniversary.

The time a human will reminisce

And revisit memories that were locked up in pandora’s box, commonly known as the subconscious.

Just when snapchat’s memories feature was about to lose its sting.

A moment that can be described as a hit from the ocean’s wave,

Filled with emotions that belonged to the past.

And the state of being currently wet from the salty water,

That refreshing feeling reminds you how the good times were… fulfilling, overwriting all the bad shit that went down,

But that saltiness fuels that regret of causing so much damage to him as you tried to heal yourself within your mind’s chaos.

Then the sun kindly dries you up, and its warmth hugs you all over,

Sending rays of reassurance and hope, that it’s okay to be alright, and that he’s better now.

To the 4th of November.

One stage of getting over someone you loved is when you start convincing yourself how it wasn’t love and that it was just an illusion.

That stage of denial and the shoving away of memories into boxes and hiding them under a pile of mess.

Whether it’s a right or wrong method, it helps sometimes, and it’s helping at the moment.

Are you afraid?

You’re right, 

Life is short

The future is uncertain. 

You know exactly what you want now.

We want things to happen the way we want them, but we cant. 

And I’m scared. 

I’m scared things wont happen.

Because an approval wasnt granted from both parties. 

Because the government stalls or finds a hole to bury our dream in. 

Because we’re not good enough according to our mamas.

Because of fucking high standards that we dont even give a shit about.

Because my life is shorter than we’d expected.

Because someone loses patience.. and -I’d rather not even finish this sentence. 

Because what “we were meant to be” actually referred to was anything but that step. 
But.. I don’t have a better solution than to wait. 

And I cannot go through another battle that is harsher than the situation we’re already in.

I can barely battle distance right now.

I dont have the mental strength to battle family, us, hope, and the chance for that dream to shatter so slowly in front of me. 

And I am terrified. 

I am worried.

All I want is for everything to go as we want them, 

Before it’s too much for you that it all becomes not worth the trouble. 

And I just want to remind you, 

My sweet Demon;

I have always loved you. 

And I will always love you 

in this life, 

the afterlife,

and in all the known 

and unknown dimensions.

Sometimes I need to show some gratitude to Love and Experiences. 

She would look into the direction of his neighborhood, as she drove past it, feeling 

Sad. Or at least that “ah, yeah that one from that time”… and rather than feeling indifferent, being sad for a bit was the better option. I think.

I don’t know. It was some kind of internal theatrical conflict to give the years she was with him a bit of value, out of respect for Love.

Walking past time.

The clouds – as if white smoke that froze in the air,

moving in a cycle, but that’s wrong,

Science says that the Earth rotates around its axis

counter-clockwise.

So, we’re the ones walking past those clouds, my clouds.

What about time?

What if time is frozen, and we’re walking past time?

What if time is constant, but we’re the ones distancing ourselves?

That we were the problem?

Weren’t humans always the problem, anyway.

You were Time. 

Emotionless or not,

Missing you feels like 

My chest is choking,

My stomach is tightening,

And my body is just aching.

It’s exhausting

Everytime I try to forget 

That I miss you

I put on a fake smile 

To cover the weakness 

I feel when I realise 

That your absence

Is digging a deeper hole

Than the one it made

The day before. 

And I’ve been doing 

A lot of smiling lately,

That my facial muscles 

Have become so rigid

And tense.

What can I do

To make your absence 

Bearable?

I know Time

Will heal all of this.

I understand that.

But it does not make me

Miss you any less 

Than I already do. 

Time, eh?

Didn’t I write once*

That you were Time

The unit that I have relied on;

Relied on you?

If you were Time,

Weren’t you suppose 

To heal me?

Then. 

Heal me. 

Note*: “Your synonyms”