Soul remains asleep

‘Wake up’, I order, ‘wake up now’
But my soul remains asleep.
I have shown stubbornness for the last four decades, and now it’s time for payback.
I have exasperated my own soul.

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Things changed

Her honesty was once
Full of pure and polite letters
Piling up to cross a radiation
Of happiness, creating
A smile on everyone’s face.
She did not need to pretend
Or fake being nice.
She was already nice.
Now, she remains honest
But only a third of the letters
That make up the words she says
Only a third.. Is good.
The rest of the time, she smiles
Or is silent till the end.

That butterfly feeling?

I can only define the butterfly sensation as the overthinking of my heart because I did feel it when i was not thinking about a guy I liked. I felt it when I was writing a poem about honesty and about me feeling nothing. So when your heart is stressed and confused, that is when your stomach reacts.