It ain’t love,
But it’s some sort of admiration.
It’s diving into his eyes and swimming in his view,
It’s leaving me hanging as he wanders off without me.
It’s that subconscious longing and that crippling fear of being left behind.
It’s reaching out, wanting the echoes of my voice to hit his back.
It’s the urge of my sound waves, in the shape of a shaking hand,
Grabbing onto the hem of his shirt, pulling his attention back to me.
The rain cleansed our hearts
From the heaviness of this world.
It polished the sky from the gloominess,
From the sadness it held.
It paved a way for a fresher beginning,
Leaving those, who weren’t meant to be, behind.
Did I request a refund?
Did you send the package at your own discretion?
Did I come by knocking on your doors, asking you to give it back?
I cannot recall how it happened
But when I stripped down to my bones,
I found a muscle beneath my ribs,
In its rightful place.
Take me for a night drive.
We’ll take turns with the playlist.
We’ll listen in silence.
I’ll light us up a cigarette.
And we can drown in our own pollution
Of thoughts and smoke.
You step out of the flame,
Only to dive right through it again.
I tell him my thoughts as they come,
He tells me don’t try to control it.
If I can punch him every time he misunderstood my intention,
Or every rhetorical question he’s answered,
It’ll be equal to the times he has interpreted me flawlessly.
And that’s probably why he’s special.
In case you’re all wondering like he did.
That moment when you attempt to move on,
And you find a little ounce of happiness in something that has nothing to do with him..
And a faint voice inside you whispers back his name,
And asks you, “what about him? Did he move on?”
Then you mentally reply to yourself,
Convincing yourself that,
“He’s okay, he moved on, accept what’s happening right now, don’t look back”
But you find yourself with the phone on your ears,
And you’re waiting for someone to pick up…
Who am I calling?
Then you hear his voice.
And although that moment of happiness,
That moment of satisfaction was just about
to write a new chapter,
You’re back to a couple of chapters behind… revisiting those feelings,
But also relieved…
As you hear his stupid voice, that you love so much.
That you still love.
But wish you can just