Lighter ~

The rain cleansed our hearts

From the heaviness of this world.

It polished the sky from the gloominess,

From the sadness it held.

It paved a way for a fresher beginning,

Leaving those, who weren’t meant to be, behind.

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A part of me wanted you to hold on a little longer.

Did I request a refund?

Did you send the package at your own discretion?

Did I come by knocking on your doors, asking you to give it back?

I cannot recall how it happened

But when I stripped down to my bones,

I found a muscle beneath my ribs,

Beating peacefully

In its rightful place.

Don’t tell me what’s on your mind.

Take me for a night drive.

We’ll take turns with the playlist.

We’ll listen in silence.

I’ll light us up a cigarette.

And we can drown in our own pollution

Of thoughts and smoke.

You know me better than most guys, and not as well as you think.

I tell him my thoughts as they come,

He tells me don’t try to control it.

If I can punch him every time he misunderstood my intention,

Or every rhetorical question he’s answered,

It’ll be equal to the times he has interpreted me flawlessly.

And that’s probably why he’s special.

In case you’re all wondering like he did.

You go up the ladder, only to go down the snake.

That moment when you attempt to move on,

And you find a little ounce of happiness in something that has nothing to do with him..

And a faint voice inside you whispers back his name,

And asks you, “what about him? Did he move on?”

Then you mentally reply to yourself,

Convincing yourself that,

“He’s okay, he moved on, accept what’s happening right now, don’t look back”

But you find yourself with the phone on your ears,

Ringing,

And you’re waiting for someone to pick up…

Who am I calling?

Then you hear his voice.

And although that moment of happiness,

That moment of satisfaction was just about

to write a new chapter,

You’re back to a couple of chapters behind… revisiting those feelings,

Confused,

Doubtful,

But also relieved…

As you hear his stupid voice, that you love so much.

That you still love.

But wish you can just

Detach from.

Even a stranger could tell.

He says

He can tell,

From the tone

The breaths between each sentence,

The air connecting each word,

The clearing of the throat,

The details of certain situations –

The general descriptions of others.

You’re still in love with him

No I’m not.

Yes, you are, stop being in denial.

No. I’m not.

I was

in love with him.

Yes. I do love him.

But… I’m not in love with him.

Not anymore.

So do not deny me the chance of moving on.