Shadows of your sins do not appear in the dark.

For a while, I lived in the dark.

He came, and I only knew how to threw punches to the air.

He came and wrapped me with his love,

His smile was enough to light up my way.

He extended his own light to open up a path for me.

Just as it started to become so bright,

I look behind me to convey my gratitude,

To seep him sit there, drained, bruised, with half a smile.

His smile was enough to light up my way, but I realise

Why he couldn’t use that anymore; why he had to use another source of light.

In the dark, I couldn’t see where I was punching.

In the dark, I thought it was only air.

And he was the air that I was breathing- Oh.

Still unending.

I realize,

The more I talk about him with an unregrettable way,

The more I heal from the inside,

The better I breathe oxygen, rather than breathing sadness.

The memories, feel like highlighted parts of my dusted books.

All that is left, is for me to reach the last page,

And it’s been five years, and I still can’t make myself read the end of this story.

It’s wanting him to contain me.

It ain’t love,

But it’s some sort of admiration.

It’s diving into his eyes and swimming in his view,

It’s leaving me hanging as he wanders off without me.

It’s that subconscious longing and that crippling fear of being left behind.

It’s reaching out, wanting the echoes of my voice to hit his back.

It’s the urge of my sound waves, in the shape of a shaking hand,

Grabbing onto the hem of his shirt, pulling his attention back to me.

A part of me wanted you to hold on a little longer.

Did I request a refund?

Did you send the package at your own discretion?

Did I come by knocking on your doors, asking you to give it back?

I cannot recall how it happened

But when I stripped down to my bones,

I found a muscle beneath my ribs,

Beating peacefully

In its rightful place.

Don’t tell me what’s on your mind.

Take me for a night drive.

We’ll take turns with the playlist.

We’ll listen in silence.

I’ll light us up a cigarette.

And we can drown in our own pollution

Of thoughts and smoke.