Why am I confused all over again? It is as if I am destined to repeat history with every person I meet. My intention is not to play tug of war with your emotions. So, I think, I’d rather be quiet and keep my feelings to myself. If our story has not ended, and if I was committed to go past the obstacles I have in mind, then that time will come but far away in the future. For now, I am thankful you’ve allowed me to stay by your side.
Please take it back,
Take it all away,
Tell me we have never been,
And we can never be.
Don’t take me apart
For someone else to figure out.
Love yourself more
And just kick me out of your sight
Allow me to hate the idea of you and I,
As I’m confused why there is no fucking us.
I showered with another man’s scent
I wiped my body with his bare skin
I kissed his hands to rewrite the texture that lingered on my lips
I laid beneath his defined build as he gently whispered “surrender”
You step out of the flame,
Only to dive right through it again.
I tell him my thoughts as they come,
He tells me don’t try to control it.
If I can punch him every time he misunderstood my intention,
Or every rhetorical question he’s answered,
It’ll be equal to the times he has interpreted me flawlessly.
And that’s probably why he’s special.
In case you’re all wondering like he did.
That moment when you attempt to move on,
And you find a little ounce of happiness in something that has nothing to do with him..
And a faint voice inside you whispers back his name,
And asks you, “what about him? Did he move on?”
Then you mentally reply to yourself,
Convincing yourself that,
“He’s okay, he moved on, accept what’s happening right now, don’t look back”
But you find yourself with the phone on your ears,
And you’re waiting for someone to pick up…
Who am I calling?
Then you hear his voice.
And although that moment of happiness,
That moment of satisfaction was just about
to write a new chapter,
You’re back to a couple of chapters behind… revisiting those feelings,
But also relieved…
As you hear his stupid voice, that you love so much.
That you still love.
But wish you can just
He can tell,
From the tone
The breaths between each sentence,
The air connecting each word,
The clearing of the throat,
The details of certain situations –
The general descriptions of others.
You’re still in love with him
No I’m not.
Yes, you are, stop being in denial.
No. I’m not.
in love with him.
Yes. I do love him.
But… I’m not in love with him.
So do not deny me the chance of moving on.