I believe I am cursed with a rewind button.

Why am I confused all over again? It is as if I am destined to repeat history with every person I meet. My intention is not to play tug of war with your emotions. So, I think, I’d rather be quiet and keep my feelings to myself. If our story has not ended, and if I was committed to go past the obstacles I have in mind, then that time will come but far away in the future. For now, I am thankful you’ve allowed me to stay by your side.

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A moment of weakness; A moment of wanting you back.

Please take it back,

Take it all away,

Tell me we have never been,

And we can never be.

Don’t take me apart

For someone else to figure out.

Love yourself more

And just kick me out of your sight

Allow me to hate the idea of you and I,

As I’m confused why there is no fucking us.

You know me better than most guys, and not as well as you think.

I tell him my thoughts as they come,

He tells me don’t try to control it.

If I can punch him every time he misunderstood my intention,

Or every rhetorical question he’s answered,

It’ll be equal to the times he has interpreted me flawlessly.

And that’s probably why he’s special.

In case you’re all wondering like he did.

You go up the ladder, only to go down the snake.

That moment when you attempt to move on,

And you find a little ounce of happiness in something that has nothing to do with him..

And a faint voice inside you whispers back his name,

And asks you, “what about him? Did he move on?”

Then you mentally reply to yourself,

Convincing yourself that,

“He’s okay, he moved on, accept what’s happening right now, don’t look back”

But you find yourself with the phone on your ears,

Ringing,

And you’re waiting for someone to pick up…

Who am I calling?

Then you hear his voice.

And although that moment of happiness,

That moment of satisfaction was just about

to write a new chapter,

You’re back to a couple of chapters behind… revisiting those feelings,

Confused,

Doubtful,

But also relieved…

As you hear his stupid voice, that you love so much.

That you still love.

But wish you can just

Detach from.

Even a stranger could tell.

He says

He can tell,

From the tone

The breaths between each sentence,

The air connecting each word,

The clearing of the throat,

The details of certain situations –

The general descriptions of others.

You’re still in love with him

No I’m not.

Yes, you are, stop being in denial.

No. I’m not.

I was

in love with him.

Yes. I do love him.

But… I’m not in love with him.

Not anymore.

So do not deny me the chance of moving on.