Shadows of your sins do not appear in the dark.

For a while, I lived in the dark.

He came, and I only knew how to threw punches to the air.

He came and wrapped me with his love,

His smile was enough to light up my way.

He extended his own light to open up a path for me.

Just as it started to become so bright,

I look behind me to convey my gratitude,

To seep him sit there, drained, bruised, with half a smile.

His smile was enough to light up my way, but I realise

Why he couldn’t use that anymore; why he had to use another source of light.

In the dark, I couldn’t see where I was punching.

In the dark, I thought it was only air.

And he was the air that I was breathing- Oh.

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Even I ask why.

They ask why is it difficult to love you,

I tell them that I do.

They ask me why can’t I make it work,

I tell them because I can never compromise with you.

They ask why continue to be selfish, and why can’t I step down for a change,

I tell them, because that is who I am with you.

They ask why do I bother looking your way, if I won’t make it work,

I tell them, because I selfishly love you my own way, even if in an unconventional way,

Even if it costs you to hate me.

May I?

May I continue to be confused about you from afar?

May I want you thinking you don’t want me anymore?

May we continue pretending that everything we went through didn’t affect Us even though it did?

May you look at me with those kind eyes, that make me think for a second you might still long for me?

May I be that selfish person again around you, because I miss being spoilt by you?

May you ignore me and my selfish desires and be rid of confusion.

Still unending.

I realize,

The more I talk about him with an unregrettable way,

The more I heal from the inside,

The better I breathe oxygen, rather than breathing sadness.

The memories, feel like highlighted parts of my dusted books.

All that is left, is for me to reach the last page,

And it’s been five years, and I still can’t make myself read the end of this story.