It ain’t love,
But it’s some sort of admiration.
It’s diving into his eyes and swimming in his view,
It’s leaving me hanging as he wanders off without me.
It’s that subconscious longing and that crippling fear of being left behind.
It’s reaching out, wanting the echoes of my voice to hit his back.
It’s the urge of my sound waves, in the shape of a shaking hand,
Grabbing onto the hem of his shirt, pulling his attention back to me.
She moved like I once did,
He pleased her insides as you’ve done
so many times before…
She said his name and I repeated yours,
I repeated it until I came and burst
Into sweat, tears, and ..
It all poured out;
Seven months worth of frustration.
It gets better
After you pass the first big dates without him.
The feelings rush through your nerves,
Viewing flashbacks of all the happy moments
And even the mental breakdowns you had.
Reminding you why it worked for a while,
And why you both had to leave.
You’ve passed the heavenly end of summer,
You’ve passed the day you approached him again,
You’ll pass the anniversary,
You’ll pass his birthday,
You’ll pass that intense Christmas.
You’ll pass the re-writes of all New years.
You’ll pass it all without him, and it’s okay.
I feel like..
You’re moving out of my heart..
And for a moment,
I thought I could move out too..
But thankfully, I didn’t.
To the biggest sin of my life,
I have betrayed the promise you begged me to make.
But finally, I don’t feel like fighting my feelings anymore.
And I’m tired of giving him up to someone else.
So, before I place your book on the upper shelf,
I’ll say one more last goodbye,
And thank you for the pain and love I’ve received
Did I request a refund?
Did you send the package at your own discretion?
Did I come by knocking on your doors, asking you to give it back?
I cannot recall how it happened
But when I stripped down to my bones,
I found a muscle beneath my ribs,
In its rightful place.
When you’re not ready to be aware of it,
But the truth,
When you need to acknowledge it,