It ain’t love,
But it’s some sort of admiration.
It’s diving into his eyes and swimming in his view,
It’s leaving me hanging as he wanders off without me.
It’s that subconscious longing and that crippling fear of being left behind.
It’s reaching out, wanting the echoes of my voice to hit his back.
It’s the urge of my sound waves, in the shape of a shaking hand,
Grabbing onto the hem of his shirt, pulling his attention back to me.
We blame each other for our pain,
As if it is easy for us to hurt others.
As if it only takes an instant and/or complete loss of emotions.
As if it is within a human’s nature and default to break someone.
It’s not easy to cause pain.
Just as it is not easy to break a human being who is born to be resilient.
She moved like I once did,
He pleased her insides as you’ve done
so many times before…
She said his name and I repeated yours,
I repeated it until I came and burst
Into sweat, tears, and ..
It all poured out;
Seven months worth of frustration.
The rain cleansed our hearts
From the heaviness of this world.
It polished the sky from the gloominess,
From the sadness it held.
It paved a way for a fresher beginning,
Leaving those, who weren’t meant to be, behind.
I feel like..
You’re moving out of my heart..
And for a moment,
I thought I could move out too..
But thankfully, I didn’t.
To the biggest sin of my life,
I have betrayed the promise you begged me to make.
But finally, I don’t feel like fighting my feelings anymore.
And I’m tired of giving him up to someone else.
So, before I place your book on the upper shelf,
I’ll say one more last goodbye,
And thank you for the pain and love I’ve received
The red string is thickening, and fate
Is cheering him on.