I can learn to sleep alone when you cannot be on the phone. 

As I rest my head onto the pillow, 

Waiting for my friend to wrap me up and portal me to the world of my subconscious,

I acknowledge the silence that strangle the walls surrounding me. 

But as I listen carefully, 

I become aware of a rhythmic sound of air;

I didn’t realise my breathing can be so loud when accompanied by silence,

Reminding me of his exhales at night.

And a thought crosses my mind;

If I am the reflection he sees in the mirror, 

Then our breathing can be the same.

If I am his, and he is mine, 

Then the air I breathe is his own. 

Which means,

I don’t need to hear him breathing in order for me to relax and sleep,

All I need

Is 

To listen to myself 

Inhale

Exhale

As if he was on the phone.

Daydreaming as he sleeps so loudly

He doesn’t know that I call him an hour early before I actually want to dose off. An hour gives me time to be accompanied by his deep even exhales as he continues his sleep that I have interrupted again

I would usually ask myself why he even puts up with my selfish requests; calling every night just because I can’t act like an independent adult anymore after realising that his presence, even when I’m asleep, makes a goddamn difference. But then I remember the answer, which lies within his love that he has constantly showed me and proved to me in the past months. 

And now I listen to his grumbly sudden snores, and all I can think of is why am I not in his living room right now so I can jump on him and colonise his handsome face with mini kisses until he wakes up and pulls me to him to give me a tight hug because he wants me to stop bugging his face and also to give him some time to wake up mentally so he can roll me over to the bottom as he situates himself on top of me… and why the hell did this piece go off to a different tangent? 

This shell has a mind of its own.

Recently,

Your body seems to know you more than you do,

when you’re exhausted,

it decides to shut down,

automatically on autopilot;

you gradually give in to the darkness that fills your eyes,

If only it can fill my heart too, I could then be banished to a different world, 

you whisper under your breath as your mind leaves reality.

Create the memories if Life fails to present them to you

And if I ever get to sleep next to the man I love,
I’ll sleep for the first 30 seconds of each minute
And wake up at the last 30 seconds
During his sleeping hours
And sometimes when he’s awake,
So I can say I’ve slept and woken up too many times
And he was still there
As beautiful as the minute before.