Strong alone, Powerful together.

I want my wedding gown to be made of the sky and a million of stars.

I want my smile to be the brightest sunlight to my outfit.

I want my light to be reflected on his eyes and form two moons instead of one.

I want to embrace him and tell him, “that even in our darkest of days i will be there to make sure we make it through together”.

Advertisements

Dodged a storm surge, and only faced a cold wave.

Ah, the curse of a breakup’s anniversary.

The time a human will reminisce

And revisit memories that were locked up in pandora’s box, commonly known as the subconscious.

Just when snapchat’s memories feature was about to lose its sting.

A moment that can be described as a hit from the ocean’s wave,

Filled with emotions that belonged to the past.

And the state of being currently wet from the salty water,

That refreshing feeling reminds you how the good times were… fulfilling, overwriting all the bad shit that went down,

But that saltiness fuels that regret of causing so much damage to him as you tried to heal yourself within your mind’s chaos.

Then the sun kindly dries you up, and its warmth hugs you all over,

Sending rays of reassurance and hope, that it’s okay to be alright, and that he’s better now.

It’s wanting him to contain me.

It ain’t love,

But it’s some sort of admiration.

It’s diving into his eyes and swimming in his view,

It’s leaving me hanging as he wanders off without me.

It’s that subconscious longing and that crippling fear of being left behind.

It’s reaching out, wanting the echoes of my voice to hit his back.

It’s the urge of my sound waves, in the shape of a shaking hand,

Grabbing onto the hem of his shirt, pulling his attention back to me.

No one broke me, and I definitely did not break anyone.

We blame each other for our pain,

As if it is easy for us to hurt others.

As if it only takes an instant and/or complete loss of emotions.

As if it is within a human’s nature and default to break someone.

It’s not.

It’s not easy to cause pain.

Just as it is not easy to break a human being who is born to be resilient.

I can still feel your hair as I make a fist.

She moved like I once did,

He pleased her insides as you’ve done

so many times before…

She said his name and I repeated yours,

I repeated it until I came and burst

Into sweat, tears, and ..

It all poured out;

Seven months worth of frustration.

To the voice that loved him madly.

It gets better

After you pass the first big dates without him.

The feelings rush through your nerves,

Viewing flashbacks of all the happy moments

And even the mental breakdowns you had.

Reminding you why it worked for a while,

And why you both had to leave.

So,

It’s okay.

You’ve passed the heavenly end of summer,

You’ve passed the day you approached him again,

You’ll pass the anniversary,

You’ll pass his birthday,

You’ll pass that intense Christmas.

You’ll pass the re-writes of all New years.

You’ll pass it all without him, and it’s okay.