No one broke me, and I definitely did not break anyone.

We blame each other for our pain,

As if it is easy for us to hurt others.

As if it only takes an instant and/or complete loss of emotions.

As if it is within a human’s nature and default to break someone.

It’s not.

It’s not easy to cause pain.

Just as it is not easy to break a human being who is born to be resilient.

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I can still feel your hair as I make a fist.

She moved like I once did,

He pleased her insides as you’ve done

so many times before…

She said his name and I repeated yours,

I repeated it until I came and burst

Into sweat, tears, and ..

It all poured out;

Seven months worth of frustration.

To the voice that loved him madly.

It gets better

After you pass the first big dates without him.

The feelings rush through your nerves,

Viewing flashbacks of all the happy moments

And even the mental breakdowns you had.

Reminding you why it worked for a while,

And why you both had to leave.

So,

It’s okay.

You’ve passed the heavenly end of summer,

You’ve passed the day you approached him again,

You’ll pass the anniversary,

You’ll pass his birthday,

You’ll pass that intense Christmas.

You’ll pass the re-writes of all New years.

You’ll pass it all without him, and it’s okay.

To the 4th of November.

One stage of getting over someone you loved is when you start convincing yourself how it wasn’t love and that it was just an illusion.

That stage of denial and the shoving away of memories into boxes and hiding them under a pile of mess.

Whether it’s a right or wrong method, it helps sometimes, and it’s helping at the moment.

You spoilt me. That’s your sin.

As I was shoving info in my tired brain,

I thought I should really take a break soon.

I wanted someone to take me to a short ride,

Wake me up with caffeine,

Let me scream two or three songs,

And drive me back home to my reality.

I wanted a certain someone to take me out,

But that someone is far away.