As I was shoving info in my tired brain,
I thought I should really take a break soon.
I wanted someone to take me to a short ride,
Wake me up with caffeine,
Let me scream two or three songs,
And drive me back home to my reality.
I wanted a certain someone to take me out,
But that someone is far away.
To the biggest sin of my life,
I have betrayed the promise you begged me to make.
But finally, I don’t feel like fighting my feelings anymore.
And I’m tired of giving him up to someone else.
So, before I place your book on the upper shelf,
I’ll say one more last goodbye,
And thank you for the pain and love I’ve received
The red string is thickening, and fate
Is cheering him on.
Did I request a refund?
Did you send the package at your own discretion?
Did I come by knocking on your doors, asking you to give it back?
I cannot recall how it happened
But when I stripped down to my bones,
I found a muscle beneath my ribs,
In its rightful place.
Don’t ask me how I feel about you,
Because the answer is the same.
I honestly don’t know.
I know that the way I view your personality
Has changed over the years,
Which makes it confusing for me to figure out my feelings.
I don’t think I’ll ever love myself wholeheartedly,
Because if I did, I would have accepted your love.
I never think I deserve that kind of admiration.
Maybe that’s why I can only chase behind those
Who can love me less than I do.
Don’t ask me if there’s any hope,
Because the answer is still the same.
I hope you’ll find someone better
Who can love you the way you deserve to be loved.
I feel like,
I can never allow myself to be with you
Because I think too highly of you.
And I think too little of myself.
When you kiss me,
The sensation hits a chord of confusion.
Shyness takes a hold of me,
Stopping me from looking at your eyes directly,
Afraid of confronting the lack of
Or the existence of intense feelings towards you,
Which forces me to find shelter in the uncertainty
That I’ve wrapped myself with in the past years.
When you’re not ready to be aware of it,
But the truth,
When you need to acknowledge it,