For a while, I lived in the dark.
He came, and I only knew how to threw punches to the air.
He came and wrapped me with his love,
His smile was enough to light up my way.
He extended his own light to open up a path for me.
Just as it started to become so bright,
I look behind me to convey my gratitude,
To see him sit there, drained, bruised, with half a smile.
His smile was enough to light up my way, but I realise
Why he couldn’t use that anymore; why he had to use another source of light.
In the dark, I couldn’t see where I was punching.
In the dark, I thought it was only air.
And he was the air that I was breathing- Oh.
As I was shoving info in my tired brain,
I thought I should really take a break soon.
I wanted someone to take me to a short ride,
Wake me up with caffeine,
Let me scream two or three songs,
And drive me back home to my reality.
I wanted a certain someone to take me out,
But that someone is far away.
To the biggest sin of my life,
I have betrayed the promise you begged me to make.
But finally, I don’t feel like fighting my feelings anymore.
And I’m tired of giving him up to someone else.
So, before I place your book on the upper shelf,
I’ll say one more last goodbye,
And thank you for the pain and love I’ve received
Take me for a night drive.
We’ll take turns with the playlist.
We’ll listen in silence.
I’ll light us up a cigarette.
And we can drown in our own pollution
Of thoughts and smoke.
I showered with another man’s scent
I wiped my body with his bare skin
I kissed his hands to rewrite the texture that lingered on my lips
I laid beneath his defined build as he gently whispered “surrender”
Images of that sinful night
slide between my thoughts,
and I push it away with sudden screams,
as if those screams could erase that memory.
Why do sinners cry
after they have sinned?
Do they think every tear
aids them in their plead of mercy?
So the devil whispers to me
in my darkest hours,
luring me to sell my soul
in exchange for
a permanent peace of mind.
And I’m almost tempted to give in.
But I’ve been there once before,
and I know it’s not a simple transaction.
It’s a prolonged contract of pure misery,
I’m already swamped in this state of agony,
But it could be the perfect distraction;
a slave for the red-headed devil
rather than being … well, I don’t know what I am
in the eyes of the black-winged demon I have loved.
I sign the contract and seal it
with the love I have made with this ugly beast.
If I told you
To dig a nail
On any part of your body
For every sin you commit,
Would you still say it’s worth it?
No, I would not.
Nothing is worth that pain.
Except for one sin, my friend.
The sin of love
And everything that comes with it.
Love is the only exception,
No matter how painful.
No matter how many times you fall in love.