Tearing apart..

I’m tearing apart. I can hear the sound of detachment, as my soul is breaking away. It aches. Severely painful. Excruciating and torturous. Tilting my head backwards, trying to ease the pain, clinging on to .. anything, clenching tightly, piercing my skin with my nails, bleeding – but I am not aware of it. I cannot let out a scream – I think I am already screaming, but I hear nothing, I can only hear the sound of something shredding, detaching, resisting.. though it feels it will give in. Give in to pain. Surrender hopelessly. Maybe then, pain will stop. Maybe it will show mercy. Maybe it will listen to my screaming – though I cannot hear it myself. I am out of breath. I was already out of breath, once that scream escaped. That shriek of terror. Of dismay…. Until darkness coats my eyes. Leaves no sense of consciousness. Then the cold hits my legs – and I wake up.

I wake up from my thoughts. My soul still bound to my body, I think. Or is this the dream? Where I find peace? – I do not know anymore.