Still unending.

I realize,

The more I talk about him with an unregrettable way,

The more I heal from the inside,

The better I breathe oxygen, rather than breathing sadness.

The memories, feel like highlighted parts of my dusted books.

All that is left, is for me to reach the last page,

And it’s been five years, and I still can’t make myself read the end of this story.

Dodged a storm surge, and only faced a cold wave.

Ah, the curse of a breakup’s anniversary.

The time a human will reminisce

And revisit memories that were locked up in pandora’s box, commonly known as the subconscious.

Just when snapchat’s memories feature was about to lose its sting.

A moment that can be described as a hit from the ocean’s wave,

Filled with emotions that belonged to the past.

And the state of being currently wet from the salty water,

That refreshing feeling reminds you how the good times were… fulfilling, overwriting all the bad shit that went down,

But that saltiness fuels that regret of causing so much damage to him as you tried to heal yourself within your mind’s chaos.

Then the sun kindly dries you up, and its warmth hugs you all over,

Sending rays of reassurance and hope, that it’s okay to be alright, and that he’s better now.

I can still feel your hair as I make a fist.

She moved like I once did,

He pleased her insides as you’ve done

so many times before…

She said his name and I repeated yours,

I repeated it until I came and burst

Into sweat, tears, and ..

It all poured out;

Seven months worth of frustration.

To the voice that loved him madly.

It gets better

After you pass the first big dates without him.

The feelings rush through your nerves,

Viewing flashbacks of all the happy moments

And even the mental breakdowns you had.

Reminding you why it worked for a while,

And why you both had to leave.

So,

It’s okay.

You’ve passed the heavenly end of summer,

You’ve passed the day you approached him again,

You’ll pass the anniversary,

You’ll pass his birthday,

You’ll pass that intense Christmas.

You’ll pass the re-writes of all New years.

You’ll pass it all without him, and it’s okay.

To the 4th of November.

One stage of getting over someone you loved is when you start convincing yourself how it wasn’t love and that it was just an illusion.

That stage of denial and the shoving away of memories into boxes and hiding them under a pile of mess.

Whether it’s a right or wrong method, it helps sometimes, and it’s helping at the moment.

A moment of weakness; A moment of wanting you back.

Please take it back,

Take it all away,

Tell me we have never been,

And we can never be.

Don’t take me apart

For someone else to figure out.

Love yourself more

And just kick me out of your sight

Allow me to hate the idea of you and I,

As I’m confused why there is no fucking us.