You have my attention, now.

The red string is thickening, and fate

Is cheering him on.

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Don’t tell me what’s on your mind.

Take me for a night drive.

We’ll take turns with the playlist.

We’ll listen in silence.

I’ll light us up a cigarette.

And we can drown in our own pollution

Of thoughts and smoke.

Are you afraid?

You’re right, 

Life is short

The future is uncertain. 

You know exactly what you want now.

We want things to happen the way we want them, but we cant. 

And I’m scared. 

I’m scared things wont happen.

Because an approval wasnt granted from both parties. 

Because the government stalls or finds a hole to bury our dream in. 

Because we’re not good enough according to our mamas.

Because of fucking high standards that we dont even give a shit about.

Because my life is shorter than we’d expected.

Because someone loses patience.. and -I’d rather not even finish this sentence. 

Because what “we were meant to be” actually referred to was anything but that step. 
But.. I don’t have a better solution than to wait. 

And I cannot go through another battle that is harsher than the situation we’re already in.

I can barely battle distance right now.

I dont have the mental strength to battle family, us, hope, and the chance for that dream to shatter so slowly in front of me. 

And I am terrified. 

I am worried.

All I want is for everything to go as we want them, 

Before it’s too much for you that it all becomes not worth the trouble. 

And I just want to remind you, 

My sweet Demon;

I have always loved you. 

And I will always love you 

in this life, 

the afterlife,

and in all the known 

and unknown dimensions.

And sometimes fate makes bargains with the devil

She told him what she was wearing that day,
A blue hat with white polka dots“, she said.
He searched for her in the festival.
Blue hat, white dots“, he repeated over and over again.
No one that day wore blue, nor did he see any white dots anywhere – if you exclude the dots he saw when he looked up straight at the sun that was held in the blue sky.
Was her blue different from my blue?
Or did she know she was my world, and the sky was what she referred to as her hat?
He never knew the answers regarding the girl who had her hat stolen and was sitting just behind him.

First encounter

It’s the sound of his breath as he gasps and swallows nervously. 

It’s the sound of the air he slowly lets out, as if I’ll steal away his breaths. 

It’s the sound of his steady heart that was stuck on one beat, starting to accelerate – one thump after the other. 

You can see him being aware of his heart pumping so fast like he’s on a rollercoaster ride that just went down the slope. 

You can see his eyes glaring right through me, like he’s trying to read my mind.

You can see his eyes tracing every detail in my face, my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders.. then back to my face as I raise an eyebrow or two. 

Then a smile on his face is formed. 

The way his skin just extends from the midline to the sides,

His lips stretching, eyes drooping, cheeks puffing. 

Oh those droopy eyes of his;

I would kiss them one by one, as a sign of gratitude that he found pleasure in a face and body like mine. 

I would also brush my nose against his nose, softly kiss the tip of his nose – 

And find him take advantage as he steals away a kiss.. 

I would be caught off guard that I shriek and quickly recover as I indulge myself within the grasp of his eager mouth. 

I May..

I may have not reached today’s standards of perfection,
But I do feel beautiful from the inside and out.
I may not look attractively appealing to all,
But I am satisfied with every inch of flesh and bone.
I may not have come from a line of royalty to reach my ambitions,
But I am working at my own pace with my own merits.
I may have not inherited all the good traits of my parents,
But I have learnt from their bad traits to control my own.
I may have not lived up to people’s expectations,
But neither have they so I still survive their daunting eyes.
There are a lot of things that I may have not,
But so many more that I may have.
So if you may, just please, leave the judging to me,
Because fact be told, it’s my own fate, my own choices, and it will always be own life.