Please take it back,
Take it all away,
Tell me we have never been,
And we can never be.
Don’t take me apart
For someone else to figure out.
Love yourself more
And just kick me out of your sight
Allow me to hate the idea of you and I,
As I’m confused why there is no fucking us.
She understands the feelings of her students, because she does not expect greatness from them. She can never understand the feelings of her own daughters, because she will always want perfection.
In the shower,
Rushing water distorting my thoughts.
Then a burning fire
Flames up in my chest,
Spreading upwards to my head,
Fixating around my eyes.
A sharp sudden gasp escapes;
And the scene before me becomes
Water coming from the showerhead
Or is it from me?
I could not tell.
I try to wash the tears away
But the more time passes
The more the agony intensifies
And I just want this affliction
To desert me
The way love did.
And by the time my body
Starts to calm down
And my eyes finally opens
I find myself laying on the floor
And I begin to wander
If I was just dreaming…
In the bathroom?
There is no clear explanation.
But I refuse to believe that
The burdens I usually carry
Are following me even
At my rest point;
Physically weighing me down.
And so I decided to feel.
I adjusted the spotlight of my emotions,
a small peak into the light,
but the pain it holds still feels like I’m in the dark.
And then I smiled ever so softly.
I felt again.
It was a relief.
I am not as cold hearted as I think I am.
I don’t need to bleed to feel the pain.
The pain of losing someone you love to… life.
and not fighting for them to stay.
I understood the facts, the logic.
I had already seen through these events.
But there were two things I got wrong.
The timing of the separation.
The extent of how much I would care.
Disappointed, I am.
Not at the one I lost.
But at me.
I have better control than this.
I know I do.
But I guess I can’t control what I “don’t want” to control.
Potential needs will as an accomplice.
And I want to taste the bitter sweet pain
He left behind.
Her eyes crimson as
the vessels coursing through my shell.
Her complexion pale
as a body drained of its soul.
Her hands cold as
my heart during winter, summer, spring and fall.
Her smile empty as
the void that was left; just a deep dark hole.
Her back stiff as
the expressions I now hold.
Her name “Ar-Gee”
the same as my initials.