I plead not guilty.

Every time they come knocking on my door,

I kick them out,

They come barging in like its their territory,

and I drag them out like garbage bags.

They enter and trespass, and I’m the one who’s charged for ignorance.

The judge sides with them, and I know Life is the name of that judge.

Death befriends me, knowing we’ll be companions soon.

I’m given a deal to admit that whoever’s pressing charges exists,

in return I’ll live peacefully and they’ll let me go.

They lie.

They’ll be like germs. Everywhere.

I throw the deal at their despicable faces,

and they beat me up till I bleed. Pain.

They want to inflict pain.

Pain is what I’m made of, idiots.

You threaten me, but I won’t budge.

I won’t welcome the emotions that I won’t admit.

I’d rather live in a cell alone than confirm that they exist.

I sit here.

I sit here
Taking a puff or two
Thinking about today
And how it could be true.

The sins I have ignored
The ones that have weighed
Me down so forcibly
Are no longer being flayed.

They’ve been brushed away
By a force stronger than my own
Words powerful enough
To lift my heart onto his throne.

Watching him purify
The stains, that have drenched
A heart into an icy stone,
And magically I have been quenched.

Where has he been lurking?
Why was his path so hidden?
Was my search that inefficient?
Or did fate thought I’ll burden him?

But he’s here now,
And I’m clinging like I’m afraid
That this reality is but a dream
After my emotions have been swayed.

I fear the end of this road
Before I could touch his soul
Or feel his breath against my neck
Or the way we could lose control.

And so I’ll spend the night
After you give in to the darkness
Listening to songs and writing poems
Of how you can knock me senseless

So I’ll sit here
Taking a puff or two
Thinking about today and tomorrow
And how this all could be true.

Dishonest Relationship

And what we had was a dishonest relationship.
One where my eyes would express lack of interest,
One where I’d glimpse his smile and ache deeply,
Because it was intended not for me, but for another weakly.
One where I would talk about anything but us
To avoid saying any truth that can force our memory to rust
One that tempts me to warm myself against him
And expect goosebumps to spread on his skin.
One where he’d speak of the XX’s so openly
And I’d listen with an indifferent act..Silently
A dishonest relationship that I have selfishly accepted,
To fulfil a wish that has not yet been granted
A dishonest relationship that was created in my mind
Hence the name, as there is nothing real that you will find.
A dishonest relationship where he is not present,
Where I haven’t yet revealed my feelings that still ascend.

A dishonest relationship still exists
Until this man can call me “his”.

As clouds protect the moon..

The sky is layered
With ashes of clouds
Scattered like pixie dust
Covering up the moon
Covering up the only light
coming from the other worlds
Maybe it’s for the best
Maybe the truth needs to be hidden
Hidden from us..
And from whatever world out there..
Maybe an interference
Between two realms or more
Could open the gates of confusion,
Between what is real..
And what could have been a dream..

Things changed

Her honesty was once
Full of pure and polite letters
Piling up to cross a radiation
Of happiness, creating
A smile on everyone’s face.
She did not need to pretend
Or fake being nice.
She was already nice.
Now, she remains honest
But only a third of the letters
That make up the words she says
Only a third.. Is good.
The rest of the time, she smiles
Or is silent till the end.