Closing your eyes won’t undo the painful memories.

Images of that sinful night

slide between my thoughts,

and I push it away with sudden screams,

as if those screams could erase that memory.

I strictly advise to not fill in the blanks.

Can someone drill a hole

right through this skull of mine?

Maybe the thoughts that have been piling up

can leak out and find

another host to terrorise.

Prying eyes

I see your eyes

that pry into my thoughts.

I see your eyes

as they skim over the emotions

that scream in the depth of my words.

I see your eyes

narrow as they re-read a part

that you think could be about you.

I see your eyes

blink as they try to take in the

heaven or hell that I am describing,

thinking you understand me

Just because I let you

Pry into my thoughts.

To one of my voices; Sincerely, a smoker.

Indifferent

Obnoxious

Cold-hearted

Isolated

Cautious

Focused

I wish I still had all of the above.

I wish I had listened to you.

But, I buried you alive, quietened you down,

to keep you from warning me.

I should have locked myself up

like you told me.

I should have never let his curiosity deceive me.

I should have never trusted him with the knife I gave him.

I should have believed you when you said that he’d leave me vulnerable.

I should have never been naive and believed that I had the strength to deal with this.

I should have never let myself dream about anyone else other than myself.

But I didn’t,

And now I’m wrecked.

I’m torn apart.

Physically in order,

Emotionally in a mess.

What should I do now?

Yes, I’ll smoke with the wind for now.