Another voice and its craving.

“If it’s the stress, just think of me and you’ll be alright”, he said.

For the first time, I wanted to scream out how factual that statement is.

Finally, we’ve come to an agreement.

If it’s true, why didn’t I think of him

when my body was rebelling against me

shouting at me to slow down with the studying?

A double-edged sword,

that statement is.

Thinking of you would’ve eventually reminded me

of how much I truly miss you.

That would have heightened my stress.

And I told you that.

Then you felt good.

But I didn’t tell you that so you can feel good,

I told you because it is the truth.

I’m confused.

And I don’t know what’s going on,

why am I reliving a past that I have ended myself

years ago,

causing you pain and insecurity.

But for whatever reason,

You’ve been on my mind lately,

And it feels like I’m cheating on another part of myself.

Too many versions in my head, too many voices,

but the voice who’s loving you right now,

who has been dormant for a long time,

is now awake,

and, God help me for saying this, it needs you.

Until I finish my cigarette. 

I inhale the nicotine

And nourish the voices

That have found shelter 

In my head.

Lightheadedness 

Is a side effect

And so they doze off

For their regular naps,

Leaving me alone

With a temporary silence.

Just before they wake up

I take another puff

And like cough syrup

They drop dead asleep.

I am in a stress-free zone,

Until I finish my cigarette.

But after that 3 minute break,

I face reality once again. 

Limitations

There’s a limit to what a human can handle.

There’s a limit to what a robot can achieve.

There’s a limit to what a body can exhauste.

And there’s a limit to what a brain can process.

A man can develop muscles by lifting heavier weights gradually. 

But a sudden lift of a force greater than what one can manage,

Causes too much strain, an intensified stress, and an overload of pressure,

Leading to a mental breakdown followed by a physical one too.

Until then I exhale a cloud of smokes, hoping the weight of this stress

Would be expired too..