Seems like every time
I try to find peace
As I fade into darkness
I struggle to survive.
Even in my sleep,
I know it’s a dream.
But the more I run,
The more it feels real.
Because that is reality
Running from the unwanted
And holding to the desired
I lay back, close my eyes, and float in the rhythm of my dreams..
And when once my dreams were an escape from reality..
Reality has come to haunt me to my bed,
As it has graved itself at the core of my subconscious.
Now I cannot tell between being awake or asleep..
The pain feels the same in both worlds..
The guilt tastes sour, choking me.
There is no relief, but heightened stress..
Drowning by my own misery, my own history.
Is there a writer out there..
Who could rewrite my yesterdays
And glamour them with sugar-coated lies?
Maybe I could be manipulated that all these dreams and reality
Are the stories of a character in a book..
A sad old dusty book.
That has nothing to do with me.
That I’m just a reader of my story.
As i sit here in the Brotherton’s library,
I escape reality
To enter a world of .. Nothingness.
-not fantasy. No, that’s similar to reality.
Nothingness is simpler.
It’s about.. Just pausing there.
It’s the time between taking your breath and releasing it again.
It’s the interval between one eye blink to the other.
Imagine how many times I’ve escaped reality.. Do the math.
Apnea –noun Pathology
A temporary suspension in breathing that can occur to adults during sleep.
Apnea does not take place because of obesity or another disease of some kind, as they say. It happens due to a battle between reality and a dream. When an individual recognises that what he is experiencing is a mere fantasy of his subconscious mind, the soul reacts by punishing the body with suffocation for dozing off in its subconscious world.