I want my wedding gown to be made of the sky and a million of stars.
I want my smile to be the brightest sunlight to my outfit.
I want my light to be reflected on his eyes and form two moons instead of one.
I want to embrace him and tell him, “that even in our darkest of days i will be there to make sure we make it through together”.
Ah, the curse of a breakup’s anniversary.
The time a human will reminisce
And revisit memories that were locked up in pandora’s box, commonly known as the subconscious.
Just when snapchat’s memories feature was about to lose its sting.
A moment that can be described as a hit from the ocean’s wave,
Filled with emotions that belonged to the past.
And the state of being currently wet from the salty water,
That refreshing feeling reminds you how the good times were… fulfilling, overwriting all the bad shit that went down,
But that saltiness fuels that regret of causing so much damage to him as you tried to heal yourself within your mind’s chaos.
Then the sun kindly dries you up, and its warmth hugs you all over,
Sending rays of reassurance and hope, that it’s okay to be alright, and that he’s better now.
It ain’t love,
But it’s some sort of admiration.
It’s diving into his eyes and swimming in his view,
It’s leaving me hanging as he wanders off without me.
It’s that subconscious longing and that crippling fear of being left behind.
It’s reaching out, wanting the echoes of my voice to hit his back.
It’s the urge of my sound waves, in the shape of a shaking hand,
Grabbing onto the hem of his shirt, pulling his attention back to me.
We blame each other for our pain,
As if it is easy for us to hurt others.
As if it only takes an instant and/or complete loss of emotions.
As if it is within a human’s nature and default to break someone.
It’s not easy to cause pain.
Just as it is not easy to break a human being who is born to be resilient.
She moved like I once did,
He pleased her insides as you’ve done
so many times before…
She said his name and I repeated yours,
I repeated it until I came and burst
Into sweat, tears, and ..
It all poured out;
Seven months worth of frustration.
The rain cleansed our hearts
From the heaviness of this world.
It polished the sky from the gloominess,
From the sadness it held.
It paved a way for a fresher beginning,
Leaving those, who weren’t meant to be, behind.
I feel like..
You’re moving out of my heart..
And for a moment,
I thought I could move out too..
But thankfully, I didn’t.