Satisfied with Pain

Why is it easier to live
When i see you suffocate?
Observing your pale skin
And nerves nicely thickening..
You try to breath
And I.. I stand there
Inhaling.. Aggressively.
Watching your eyes widen
With horror.
For a while,
I have been
Satisfied with pain. With your pain.

The answer
To the original question,
Is that..
You’ve never showed me
But weakness.
You have made it easier to endure.
It’s not that I enjoy seeing you suffer, like they judged
But you’ve implemented it
Within me
As a bad habit.

Breathing your battles away.

In the beginning,
You write for yourself.
Trying to express the battles,
That you’re constantly fighting within you
Wearying every breath you take
While you elaborate every detail.
As you exhale
Its as if one enemy down.
And as you inhale again
You take a stab..
In a distinctive agonising memory.