Reflecting

Not everything i write
Are the thoughts of the night
I sometimes recall
The burdens of my soul
And my soul is only alive
When the sun is up in the sky
But when darkness takes over
My soul is no longer sober

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That stupid ‘Aaaah’ moment

When you’re with someone
And they babble something,
That didn’t make sense
But you just nod and laugh
Saying ‘Yeaah! I know right?’
Then a couple of days later
You’re like ‘wait, what?’
Either your brain
Processes the information
And freezes, followed by an
‘Aaaaaaah!!!’ Moment
Or you still don’t get it,
So it Interferes with your
Ritual thoughts before bedtime.

‘Slow motion phase’

Remember that feeling
When you get in that ‘slow motion phase’
You’re walking at your normal pace
But you feel heavy.. Slow
You try to talk fast
But its like your lips have magnets,
Taking too much energy to speak
Your brain also feels like
It is having difficulty processing
I never understood this phenomena
I always thought
An angel was trying to communicate,
A unicorn is interfering with my world,
Time is pausing,
Or that it’s time for my soul to leave.

Diary: When I waited for his coffee

First time he saw me,
I looked so pale
And greasy..
The second time
I waved to him
I looked dead,
Tired and exhausted.
He still talked to me.
He offered coffee.
I went home,
Got dressed nicely
Came back
He left.
He texts apologising.
I went home
Disappointed.
Next day,
He texts
‘U hitting the library?’
I rush to the toilet
I look better
More decent
Not my best
Just better.
He comes
Im distracted.
I go down
To my friends
We all look up
At him
He’s looking
I jump
out of my chair.
‘Shit. I shouldnt
Have done that?’
I go up.
Im still distracted
I leave
I say bye
But, We talk.
I laugh
To every word.
Dates on a stick,
The fruit,
he gave me.
I ate it,
kept the stick.
I realise
I’ve taken too much
Of his time
I leave
He asks
If I’m in town
In the weekend.
‘Yeah! Why?’
I was waiting
For this.
He offered coffee
Again.
I now wait.

Past tense

I used to have that shirt
That i snugged up with
And that perfect scent of a cologne
That I’d spray, every night
I did have those matching rings
Only because we couldn’t have matching tattoos
I did have a dozen of rubber hair bands
Even if i already had one in my hair
I did have that hoodie
That I said i just wanted to try on
When i just wanted to get high on the smell
I.. I’m sure I had a lot more
But that’s all I have for tonight