Reflection: imagination

I’ve always asked myself how he could easily imagine a scene of us being together when we haven’t even met. The details he mentioned of the whole scenario surprised me every time. I was able to feel the emotions that associated with every scene, every element he mentioned but I failed to picture it clearly in my head. The images were like stars, too far away for me to reach and grasp it in my hands. It was like looking at them without my glasses on, too blurry. Because truth be told, I was afraid that if I opened the door for me to see us vividly and it doesn’t happen, the disappointment will never wear off. More importantly, I was afraid you’d be gone before we even get a chance to meet, after I’ve already daydreamed about you and imagined you sitting here next to me and imagined the things I would have done to you but can’t anymore because we no longer exist in the same world anymore. Now, where would I have trashed out all these images. My mind is not a computer, I can’t just delete these scenes in my head. I can’t undo what you did to me, what I did to myself. And this is exactly what happened. Just after I’ve let myself see you there in front of me, and I was stupidly smiling to the space next to me, 3 days later, it was all over. I didn’t have the right to picture you then. But I still do. I still do.

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