Take shelter in the darkness.

The sadness swept in

like the wind in a lonely night,

peaking through the holes

of the broken windows

and moulded walls,

bringing in the cold and dirt.

Despair shined in

like a curious torch,

looking for treasure and goods,

but only to find ruins and unwanted fragments

of an abandoned heart.

Wrap yourself in the shadows. 

Take shelter in the darkness.

Shut your eyes and cover your ears. 

Let the dusky air shun away the world

that left you behind.


Abandonment looks beautiful. 



An old mansion still stands 

At the midst of a growing forest.

Camouflaged between the tall greenery.

A new roof of leaves and blossomed flowers.

Nourished by the souls that once called it home.

Dusty and shadowed from the inside.

Broken and unsafe are the floors and stairs.

Windows and the walls seem alike, smudged with memories.

New bushes covering the foot prints that once existed.

Unused, this land has become.


But it survives.

It survives to maintain the memories that were painted carefully by the souls that it derives life from.

Abandonment is glorious. 

Abandonment is the name of the mansion.

A man who found his escape.

He cherished his books.

He deified the words that displayed delicately

in the fragile papers.

Scenes traced between the sentences,

opening a door to his imagination.

He denied the existence of the page numbers,

for he feared reaching the last page.

‘Every story has an ending’ – a quote he detested.

Why can’t they just leave me in the middle, as I dance between the passion of the author’s interpretations of life before they found a conclusion?

So one day, they did;

You’ll find him laying on a creamy couch; asleep.

And today is his wish’s 25th anniversary.


Reflection – Eye make up

I really wanted to put eye make up today, but I’ve got a cold and my right eye is badly swollen. I wanted to apply a bit of blusher as well but I thought the tears would leave a dumb line across my face.

Even so, I put make up on and left my right eye without eye-liner and mascara, so it doesn’t end with black catastrophes ruining my face when tears start running.

I look like Mulan when she was singing ‘Reflections’ and wiped half of her make up. And I still smile, because no matter how you look at it, you’d realise that I generally put make up on for myself, not for others, but for me. I like how the eye-liner traces my eye. I like how mascara emphasises the color of my eyes. They’re brown, not black.

That is basically the highlight of today.

Son (4)

Dear Son,

If you are blessed with a sister, please take care of her. I will raise her to be strong, independent and reliable.

But as her brother, whether you’re older or younger than her, you have the obligation to take care of her.

Divide the responsibility I will assign to you all and do not burden her with all the problems.

I will raise her to be reliable that sometimes she might feel the need to carry the weight of the world, and Son, that is the last thing I want her to do.

I want you all to learn to ask each other for help, and for all of you to accept each other’s requests.

You should all be the swords and shields for each other. And I do not mean you use these for fighting.

Use them to back each other up and distribute the weight equally between each other.

I still have more to say in this matter,

but this is it for today, Son.

“…looking at the stars always makes me dream.”

I confess I do not know why, but looking at the stars always makes me dream.” – Vincent Van Gogh.

I know why, Vincent.

The stars are faraway.

Shining in the distance.

Some shine brighter than others.

Some shine before others.

Some shine all through the night.

Some fade mid-way.

Some guide humans into the right path.

Overall, they all exist. Stars exist.

You can’t always see them,

but you eventually do.

You might lose sight off them when it’s too dark.

It might be too cold, too windy, too cloudy for you to look up and gaze at the illuminating sky.

it might be time for the sun to awaken and fulfil its duty.

But you eventually meet the stars,

even if they are miles away.

Dreams are like that.

I look at the stars and I dream too, Vincent.

Because dreams are like stars.

I’d like to think that no matter how much distance I have left to reach my dreams, they still exist, just like the stars.

Sometimes it becomes all blurry and dark and I lose motivation,

but the next day, week, or month I can still get up and fight.

I can still look up at my stars and dream.

I can still gaze into my bright existing future, Vincent.

This is why, Vincent.

This is my why.